I wish I was not a nerd

So first, the cool part of the Thor news:

Coming off of Original Sin, Thor is going to be found unworthy of wielding Mjolnir. He's still gonna be around, and he's gonna do what I assume will be hero-y things with a big-ass ax, but someone new is going to be found worthy of picking up the hammer.

Unworthy Thor drawn by Esad Ribic

Note the clearly not-non-lethal big fucking ax. Also, please don't make his new name "Unworthy Thor," I hope to God that's just the description for the image. Maybe just drop the "Thor" part and address him only as "Odinson" until he regains his honor or makes his own name or whatever?

Anyway, since Marvel is riding on a ridiculous wave of "LOOK AT ALL THE AWESOME, INTERESTING SHIT WE ARE DOING," that new owner is going to be a woman. (All of my money is on Thor's sister, Angela. I mean, it kinda really looks like her, and she's another child of Odin, sooooo I'm gonna ignore the fact the press release says it's a brand new character.)

(edit: They've now released a promo that clearly show Angela standing right next to Thor, so I was totally wrong. But I didn't want to delete the line and act like I never said it, haha)

Thor #1 cover drawn by Esad Ribic

"The inscription on Thor's hammer reads 'Whosoever holds this hammer, if HE be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.' Well it's time to update that inscription," said Marvel editor Wil Moss. "...this new Thor isn't a temporary female substitute - she's now the one and only Thor, and she is worthy!"

The same point - that this will be THE Thor now - was driven further home by Jason Aaron, who will be writing the new series. "This is not She-Thor...Lady Thor...Thorita. This is THOR. This is the Thor of the Marvel Universe."

Quotes taken from this article: CLICK HERE

And look, yeah, maybe making a female version of a character isn't a new thing. But Marvel, according to their own press release, considers Thor to one of their BIG 3 characters, alongside Captain America and Iron Man. So, yeah, it does mean something pretty great that their going to have one of those characters be female - especially since, as they've made clear, she's the NEW THOR and not THOR'S LADY SIDEKICK/ALTERNATE.

(Kind of unrelated, but we also have something else pretty great and I want to point it out: with Steve Rogers currently unable to fill the role of Captain America in any active way, we're also going to have a new Cap, at least for a while. And if the cover for Avengers #35 is any indication, it looks to be Sam Wilson, which you may notice means the Marvel Big 3 would also feature an African-American character.)

(edit: CALLED IT. FUCK YEAH CAPTAIN FALCON.)

Try and tell me that Cap suit doesn't SCREAM Falcon.

And now, surprise surprise, onto the not cool part:

"SUBSCRIPTION CANCELED."

"This is a sad day........gonna go puke now, thanks Marvel"

"I want to find the dumb-ass, pencil pushing, administrative, completely uncreative person who forced this idea on every one in some lame and obvious, commercial and banal attempt to get more female readers and fire them."

"Um...Not to be sexist at all or anything...but I cannot believe this. I'm extremely disgusted with them......WTF ARE DOING DOING, MARVEL?!"

"Thor receiving a vaginoplasty... what's next?"

"She name its now WHOR,God of trans-sexual"

There's worse, big shock, but I don't really wanna throw any of the worst shit right into anyone's face.

So.

Thanks, shitty idiot comic fans making everyone look bad. Christ.

One of you morons used Mjolnir as the character's name and cited Amazing Spider-Man 2, Days of Future Past, and the upcoming Sinister Six/Fantastic Four films as proof that Marvel Studios is putting out too many movies, and then said that AS A COMICS PURIST you couldn't accept a female Thor. I don't think I even believe you read comics, motherfucker.

I didn't screengrab at the time, and I'm not about to go wading back through the shit now.

Look damn it, in the Marvel universe, if you can pick up the fuckin' hammer, you're Thor now. That's just how it works. I mean, okay, previously you just got the powers, you didn't take up the name. But if the current Thor is going to fall so far that he's no longer worthy of Mjolnir, or even his own name? WELL THEN I GUESS THERE'D BE A NEW THOR AT THAT POINT ASSHOLES.

Look.

We had a frog Thor.

100% NOT MAKING THIS UP

We had a weird-ass alien horse Thor.

AND PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE THIS GUY

But you draw the line at "woman?" It's that unbelievable that a woman would be worthy of the power of Thor?

This is clearly the least realistic of the last three images.

Fuck you guys.